Keep Your Crew Tight and Holy
You become like the people you spend the most time with—so why not choose those who reflect Christ's light?
Most people are shockingly poor at maintaining relationships. They collect contacts like statistics, accumulate followers like achievements, and mistake networking for genuine connection. I know because I used to do exactly this.
The way we approach friendship reveals what we value. If we're collecting people for convenience, status, or entertainment, we're building our lives on shifting sand. But if we're choosing companions based on shared calling, compatible values, and mutual growth toward Christ, we're building something eternal.
Your inner circle shapes who you become. Choose people who are earnestly walking the narrow path—humble, self-examining, forever on the journey to be more like Christ.
"Enter ye in at the strait gate: for wide is the gate, and broad is the way, that leadeth to destruction, and many there be which go in thereat: Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it." — Matthew 7:13-14
The Friendship Collection Problem
Let me confess something: I used to collect friends like they were statistics. Not exactly, but close enough to be embarrassing.
I'd meet people at conferences, accumulate Telegram contacts, iMessage connections, X followers, LinkedIn connections. The dopamine hit of new connections felt like progress, like I was building something valuable. But it was actually the opposite—a shallow approach that helped no one.
This networking addiction isn't effective for business, well-being, or fulfillment. It doesn't help you discern who's actually worth spending time with. And as you develop your Christian faith, you realize not every Christian is actively pursuing heart alignment with Christ. It takes time to discern people's spirits, even among good people.
The general advice is simple: Stop collecting friends like they're users on some app you're promoting. Relationships aren't metrics to optimize.
The Selectivity Paradox
Being selective about relationships isn't arrogance—it's wisdom. It comes from understanding compatibility, calling alignment, and trusting that God puts the right people in your path when you're obedient to Him.
Most of the people I'm closest with now I've met recently, as I've gotten more intentional about spending time with people who are vocationally aligned—those with compatible callings and values.
This requires knowing who you are, not just following trends or chasing opportunities. Part of why I created my Faith Walk OS as an open-source framework is self-accountability to a firm foundation, so I'm not swayed by dollar signs, trends, or friendships of convenience rooted in vices.
I talk to maybe one friend from my nightlife days, and only because we connected on a deeper level beyond that context. The rest of those relationships were built on shared compromise rather than shared purpose.
My Experience Building Holy Friendships
The shift from quantity to quality has been transformational. Instead of managing hundreds of surface-level connections, I now invest deeply in a small circle of people who are genuinely walking the narrow path.
These friendships look different. We pray together about major decisions. We challenge each other's blind spots with love. We celebrate spiritual growth, not just material success. When one of us is struggling, the others step in with practical help and biblical wisdom.
The energy is completely different too. Instead of draining conversations about gossip, complaints, or worldly pursuits, we discuss how God is working in our lives, what we're learning from Scripture, and how we can better serve His kingdom.
Yes, I work with people who are atheists, agnostics, or of other faiths. I will likely have customers and partners who aren't Christians in upcoming ventures. But my inner crew—the people who shape my daily thoughts, decisions, and spiritual direction—are those earnestly pursuing Christ.
Building Your Holy Crew
Keep it small. By tight, I mean small. Quality over quantity isn't just a cliché—it's practical wisdom. Deep relationships require time, attention, and emotional investment that can't be spread across hundreds of people.
Keep it holy. By holy, I mean people who are earnestly walking the path, humble and self-examining, forever on the journey to be more like Christ. Look for those who welcome correction, pursue truth over comfort, and demonstrate the fruit of the Spirit in their lives.
Prioritize calling compatibility. Seek friendships with those who share similar vocational calling or life mission. Iron sharpens iron when both pieces of metal are moving in the same direction.
Trust divine appointments. When you're walking in obedience to God, He orchestrates the right relationships. Stop forcing connections and start recognizing the ones He's providing.
Let go of convenience friendships. Relationships built around shared vices, mutual complaints, or simple proximity rarely produce spiritual growth. Be willing to outgrow friendships that pull you away from Christ.
"He that walketh with wise men shall be wise: but a companion of fools shall be destroyed." — Proverbs 13:20
Keep detailed notes on your crew. After meaningful hangouts with close friends, I take notes or do voice recordings reflecting on what I found valuable. Often I'll write up insights and send them to the friend because that's what happens when you spend time with high-quality people who teach you a lot. Remember the important things your friends say, the people in their lives, and what matters to them. These are complete human beings you're likely investing in for the rest of your life—treat their stories and concerns with that level of care.
Reflection and Practice
Ask yourself as you evaluate your relationships:
- Do my closest friends make me more like Christ or more like the world?
- Am I collecting people for status or genuinely investing in mutual growth?
- Would my inner circle encourage me toward holiness or compromise?
- Do I prioritize compatibility in calling and values over convenience and entertainment?
You become like the people you spend time with. You absorb their energy, adopt their perspectives, and mirror their priorities. Why not let that energy be the light that shines through people walking the pathway toward Christ?
Keep your crew tight and holy. Your spiritual formation depends on it.
"Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend." — Proverbs 27:17
"Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners." — 1 Corinthians 15:33